I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
