So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
