Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
