I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize