i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
