I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
