at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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