whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
