I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize