Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
