Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
