I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
