hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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