ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
