my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
