And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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