Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
