I need help removing her.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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