I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
