I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
