when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Small penises have feelings too.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
