the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
