in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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