You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
