If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
