Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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