Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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