I hope mine doesn't look like that
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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