after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
