She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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