Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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