This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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