i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
