all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize