you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
