I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
