Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
