shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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