I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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