at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
