Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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