hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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