first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
