Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
