"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So squirting runs in the family.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
