There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Randomize
