Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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