just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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