how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
