the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
