I'm lost and stupid without you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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