Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
