i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
