I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
