Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
