She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
