do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
