dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
