She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
