If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
